Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous ĂȘtes venu au faux endroit.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
BEWARE: the aliens are here
everybody out there, you gotta believe me. i have personally experienced something which leads me to believe that the aliens are really here. perhaps youll think im crazy after reading this, just like my wonderful sister, but at least hear me through. yesterday me and qiyi were talking on the phone and there were these frequent short bursts of static throughout the conversation. not the kind of static i have because my phone is dying, but a really strong burst where you cant hear anything else except for that splitsecond or two of noise. then during one part of the conversation, i was talking to rachel and laughing with her. when i held the phone back up to my ear, there was no sound. i thought that qiyi was just playing a prank on me or something. after a while i couldnt be bothered any more so i ended the call and called her again. you know what she said? apparently the line got cut off and she heard the sound which only comes on when she has a second line (which she did not) instead of the usual *toot-toot-toot* dial tone. the aliens are spying on our conversation. obviously i sound like im rambling mad, but i assure you i am not. i read parts of the mothman profecies, a book dealing with aliens on earth, which some scepticism. i mean yes its not a matter of if, but when.. BUT so fast? theyre already here? yeah i know that what happened yesterday cannot be proof of alien existance here on earth, but im gonna look into it. really.
9:48 am
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
i feel like such a terrible terrible girl. pastor moh yings (is that how you spell it) message on monday keeps on popping up and my conscience keeps on pricking pricking pricking. integrity. yup thats what she talked about. all the little things you do when nobody else is looking. my homework.. the other day i dropped my m&m on the floor and couldnt be bothered to pick it up and hoped that no one would notice. sigh.. feel so guilty. jessie said that the even the littlest sin is equal to what osama has done the last time i saw her. if only everybody else knew.. the things ive done. you would walk out on me too. trust me. not innocent anymore. thats why sometimes i find it so hard to believe that god would never give up on you. i just wanna im sorry im sorry im sorry. but sorry's not enough, is it? god, why cant i trust in you..?
7:59 pm
Sunday, March 19, 2006
hang in there people
heyhey.. hols nearly over and in less than 12 hours i will be skipping/dragging my feet through the gates of acjc with a smile/frown on my face. it will be the very first time ill be wearing the acjc uniform officially. sort of. wore it once before, for the chinese new year celebrations. doesnt seem so great to wear it now as it did then. watched my kakak pack away my mg uniform. ill never wear it again. well, officially at least. this time, my life as an mg girl is really over. they say once an mg girl, always an mg girl. yeah, true.. but from now on, im an alumni. jc life is great but, actually, supposed to be great, but.. so many buts huh.. kinda hard to put it all down. wish i had a whole lot of money then i could donate back to mg. always wondered why people would pay $500-$1000 for a seat at one of those gala dinners. maybe now i know the reason why. just for a chance to give back a small portion of what you have been given. and to relive those days.. be with old friends.. yes, those were the days.. okay, enough about me reminiscing.. i find that im often stuck in the past sometimes. yeah, finding it hard to catch up sometimes, but yeah, thats what i wasnt gonna talk about. i was kind of surfing around, and you know what, it makes me real sad. you know, all these young people out there, just like you and me, feeling so depressed (not sure if its the right word) and so alienated. come on, admit it, youve had your turn too. you feel that nobody can understand you, youre all alone, and that the whole world doesnt give a damn. either that, or the whole world is caught up in this whole big pretense of being happy and hiding their true feelings in the closet. hey, its okay.. i wouldnt say its normal.. its quickly becoming the norm, but its okay.. you dont have to hide.. yes, it hurts. i know it hurts, dammit. but we're all out here hurting with you. we care.. oh yeah.. so i care huh.. like i will ever understand.. but look carefully, man. just take a look around. everybody has their own hurts just like you and me. i was looking around peoples blogs and there was this big undercurrent of sadness.hurt.pain.fear.... if you need to cry, just cry. let it go. bottling it up and keeping it inside will just make it worse. i should know.. go to a close friend if need be, but most importantly, remember to love yourself..
dont know whats happening to the world these days.. hmm.. after much extensive research, i have narrowed it down to a select few reasons. 1) due to the indiscriminate pollution of the environment, harmful substances have now found their way into our bloodstream and are currently accumulating in the bodies of our generation. this results in a huge hormonal imbalance in the brain, triggering off these depressive streaks which are now part and parcel of every day teenage life. 2) we ourselves are to blame. we stress ourselves out. stress each other out. give everyone else a helluva time just to (hopefully) make it easier for ourselves. as long as i dont know the person, who really cares anyway? yep. so i guess society as a whole is at fault? everybody else is so caught up in the mad rush to do something, get somewhere, it really isnt that surprising that the numbers of suicide cases are on the up and up. the numbers of people with all these personality disorders, mental illnesses and whatnot are on the rise. if i were a psychologist, my wallet would be jumping for joy. oh let the poor souls screw themselves.. all the better for me! oh yeah. the next time youre stuck in a car jam, honk a little less.. if the service isnt all that great, scream a little softer (and with a lower pitch.. it does makes a difference) live life a little easier.. cant really speak for myself.. im in the process of improving too.. and of course.. never forget the curved line which sets things straight. smile... :)
9:51 pm
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
gimme a couple of decades
its been a month. one whole month.. ahaha, okay it kinda sounds like its been a month since a tragedy happened or something.. but no, not a tragedy. a month since i last came online and blogged. yeah, still the same though. not up to anything much, or you could say, still not amounting to anything much.. aha, same old me. while everybody is growing up, possibly leaving me behind. left behind already maybe.. aah what i wish to be stuck in secondary school for maybe one more year? then at least i can like do something about myself. sigh, maybe ill explain the sandcastle-eba analogy some day. hmm, wonder if you would be able to understand though. humans dont seem to be able to.. maybe a computer would? oh, but let me tell you how i came to be here on a normal school day. today is the second orientation. not a very good day for me. so, here i am at home. at least i dont have to go through the torture of telling myself that im enjoying myself, being with a whole bunch of people i dont know and am stuck with doing sorts of things for the rest of the day. im sorry guys, but meeting new people really isnt my thing. then how on earth did you get to know the people you already know if you dont like meeting new people, you ask. hmm, good question. i have to sleep on it. just get back to me in like, a few decades time and maybe things might be better and id have the answer for both myself and you.
12:53 pm
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.