Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

i am in a foul mood today and if youre not careful ill bite off your head. rargh. school starts tomorrow. rargh. terms start tomorrow. rargh. i know i am gonna do badly. rargh. i am saving all the guilt and horribleness of everything the year has brought for when i receive confirmation of my pending bad results. aka, when the papers start coming back. okay, not that this year hasnt had happy and memorable moments.. but mg definitely brings more of them.
a couple of days ago i did this test on personaldna.. and guess what they said about me.. i am like slightly functional.. like ahem.. excuse me, what is slightly functional? does it mean im mostly dysfunctional? a quick check on dictionary.com gives me this definition of functional which i thought was the most applicable of the lot:
Capable of performing; operative: eg. a functional set of brakes.
so you are saying that most of the time i am not capable of functioning, ie. performing? performing what anyway.. if youre saying simply being a human being, i more than qualify okay. i eat, shit, sleep.. and i guess the ultimate aim of any species is to reproduce, but fortunately/unfortunately i havent done that yet.. but i tell you, i am no less a human being than any of those guys who created the personality test okay.. cant they make their explanations a leeetle bit clearer.. sighs.. but of course if they mean the ability to function in todays society where there are so many unspoken codes of conduct and where normal and abnormal seem to have a definite meaning so frequently, i guess they may be rather correct after all.. its like hellooo... i can read you.. i can sorta see why youre thinking what youre thinking.. (hahaha or at least i think i do.. so humour me..) but i cant respond to it.. like shit how do i compose a facial expression that is suitably sympathetic even though i dont know you that well (and vice cersa) but i can sorta feel what youre feeling.. (yes, continue to humour me please) or maybe like how on earth do i look enthusiastic enough to be encouraging yet tell you that your brilliant idea wont go very far.. and at the same time still make you happy about it.. or like oh crappy crap why are there soo many people i dont know.. shitshitshit. what on earth am i doing here. helphelphelp. make me invisible somebody. what on earth am i supposed to say to this strangerfied person who's like talking to me.. and my facial muscles start like cramping up cos they arent too sure what my brain cells want them to do.. and so on.. you can imagine why meeting people i dont know or dont really know is like one of my least favourite sticky situations.. today it was like.. i didnt smile and so my tutor kinda thought i was either
1)super stressed due to terms
2)super sad for some unknown reason
3)super pissed at something or other
but i wasnt. really. haha you gotta believe me. its just that its not funny lorh.. and even if theres nothing funny, do you expect me to be smiling while im doing of all subjects.. math?!? and the more he asked the more im like.. no theres totally nothing wrong with me.. and all the little kids were like staring staring.. staring staring.. okay fine year whatever.. i hate people observing me.. oh man but i love observing people. how stupidly hypocritical can i get.. and no i dont think im autistic.. i think its like a result of interacting with only a super small social circle which im comfortable with.. yeah im sorry i know i can be cliquish.. okay maybe i am most of the time.. rargh. you may find me unapproachable.. aiyah who cares lah.. if you find me unapproachable i probably find you strangerfied too.. so we're quits harharhar.. okay fine, i think im talking rubbish.. i shall be kind and spare you the agony.. :)

9:09 pm

gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.

blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.

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