Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous ĂȘtes venu au faux endroit.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
hmm so well i guess its finally over.. well not finally as in finally cos i couldnt wait for it to be over and done with, but finally as in finally i can enjoy my bed and my blanket.. its like i get home so late i just plonk into bed and not bother to open out my blanket.. which i usually do.. most of the time anyways.. what am i doing talking about my sleeping habits.. anyways, having little snippets of the qing thing running through my head now.. not very sure if i should blast some other stuff to get it out of my head now or to leave it for just a while longer, so that next time ill still be able to remember what we played.. its been really fun man, this week.. it makes me wish that were gonna have more performances and stuff.. yeah we all get home really late.. and school starts to take a back seat.. tell me about it, im like behind in everything.. but i think it was definitely worth all the late nights and stuff (yes, coming from a person who needs her 8 hours, thats quite a bit).. im really starting to like the j1s like alot. they are so lovable and so full of enthusiasm and uhh, innocence? dont really think thats the right word but anyway.. most of them anyways.. when the dsa people first joined us last year i was kinda freaked out.. like omg why are they all so enthu and so friendly?!?!? and the first few times they came they were like waaay earlier than us lah.. now, even i feel like going early for strings.. even though as of now the early thing hasnt really caught on with me.. yet. ill try though.. *nods vigourously* yeah somebody was like saying how brahms would be so crowded this year what with so many of them and all, and we wont have any peace.. but i kinda dont really mind now.. its nice to see them hanging around in there.. hmm maybe ill feel a bit miffed though, when im really really mugging for the As.. anyways, it wasnt too bad, all in all.. i was kinda afraid that the hall would be half-empty, or that they would forget their lines like during the rehearsal.. or maybe they did though, but recovered splendidly.. just like how that singapore idol finalist whose name i cant remember for the life of me fell down during bittersweet but started singing almost immediately.. i really liked the way the huang shang did the the emperor pays his respects to old buddha or something to that effect part.. the pauses were too short during the rehearsals.. i think.. anyways.... i think i was less out of tune than the day before haha.. i think. but i did do a few crazy bowings though.. hope noone noticed.. and the dreaded waltz wasnt as dreaded after all.. you know what ive decided.. ive decided that in no way am i going to play for like a musical for a job or anything.. imagine. if the whole thing has a run of a month.. imagine playing the same thing every single day in cramped "underground" conditions and even twice on weekends.. itll be awfully monotonous.. no wonder the west side story people looked so sian sian when i watched.. i watched like on the last few days some more.. yes speaking of cramped.. i tell you ahh.. that was the smallest space ive ever played in.. my bow kept on going up elfredas sleeve.. i have a feeling that qiyi probably has bruises down her back and elfreda has some on her arm.. hmm anyways, still wondering why the old buddha is called old buddha.. i think its awfully weird.. its probably some obscure part of the chinese culture that i should know since im a chinese but oh wells.. chinese stuff is really lost to me sometimes.. just like math.. math is very good in that it really orders up your mind.. like everything has a right place and order.. but is the mind really meant to be to neat and orderly? shouldnt that be left for computers or something.. yeah obviously im not a very neat person, but anyways.. just went for math today and came out feeling quite shi bai.. (haha yay im using chinese) all the neat rows of numbers are just that little bit too neat for me.. its kinda hard to see their patterns sometimes.. there was this other girl though.. can tell that the tutor really likes her.. like can be model student like that.. she even looks the part.. she does her math with a sort of intensity and sense of urgency.. which of course, i lack.. i really should learn from her.. i think. well, at least in the attitude towards math part.. yeah i guess i should be going now.. work beckons.. (not very endearingly though.. )
6:36 pm
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
my mother has no concept whatsoever of having fun.. okay i know right now im just being biased and whatever.. but oh wells.. you know the time we went all the way to the mountains of switzerland (i know it was uberly long ago but i cant forget that) she sat inside the cafe (which im sure singapore has something similar) instead of being outside experiencing the place.. ho hum.. anyways, i just wanted to sing a song for you:
There is this thing that's like touching except you don't touch Back in the day it just went without saying at all All the world's history gradually dying of shock There is thing that's like talking except you don't talk You sing You sing
Sing for the bartender sing for the janitor sing Sing for the cameras sing for the animals sing Sing for the children shooting the children sing Sing for the teachers who told you that you couldn't sing Just sing
There is thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance After the show you can not sing wherever you want But for now let's just pretend we're all gonna get bombed So sing
Sing cause its obvious sing for the astronauts sing Sing for the president sing for the terrorists sing Sing for the soccer team sing for the janjaweed sing Sing for the kid with the phone who refuses to sing Just sing
Life is no cabaret We don't care what you say We're inviting you anyway You motherfuckers you'll sing someday... You motherfuckers you'll sing someday... You motherfuckers you'll sing someday...
yesyes i know.. what? dresden dolls again!??! im sorry im on a dresden dolls thing right now i cant get enough of them.. even though im like a lousy fan.. i havent gotten either of their albums.. still thinking about how to work that into my budget.. got everything from youtube haha.. *sheepish grin* but i wanna hear the rest.. :( *whines* i remember i was on a simple plan thing for the longest of times.. no idea how on earth i could have fallen in love with that bunch with that bunch of overgrown teenage crazies who have nothing better to do besides trying to be angsty and jump around in their music videos.. ah, but unfortunately since they have already managed to worm their way into my heart, theyll forever have a place there, a really tiny one, but a space nonetheless.. but anyways, omg they are so.adorable.. and so capable with getting themselves stuffed into my head.. i just watched one of their backstabber videos (not the one with panic in the studio) its suuuuuuuper funny lah.. but i think need parental guidance lehs, aiyars never mind im pretty sure we all can make well and informed choices.. hurray for us.. wells, im singing for you, people.. whereever you may be.. even though my singing could probably break glass, but anyways.. yes and even though the end part needs censoring.. sorry about that, didnt feel too good about cutting the song up.. (there she goes again.. she just saw that little paragraph up there and went a bit crazy.. a bit.. i think shes tired.. yes mother, your daughter is turning out to be such a freako, unlike you, of course..) yes, as i was saying.. and even though i have absolutely no idea what janjaweed is.. im singing for you! :)
1:49 am
oh my gosh, i dunno why but recently ive been able to harness the good vibes radiating off the earth.. or something to that effect lah.. especially like, now.. its that jesse mccartney (again, dunno how to spell) song that i just heard today.. its the kind of song which reminds me of those horrible inspirational movies where they make you weep from sheer joy even though you know that youre being led by the nose around this kinda cliched plot.. right now, im desperately trying to drink up all that positive energy before the bubble bursts, somewhat like how a drug addict would do anything humanely posible just for that next high.. okay, im not a druggie and probably will never be (i hope at least.. i dont wanna be a slave to something.. much less to a chemical..) and i dont know any, though i guess it would be kinda interesting to get to know one.. i know im kinda killing myself by staying up right now, but the high is irresistable (btw in sec two our class was 2i and on our class shirt they spelt 2-irresistable wrongly haha.. to this day im still not too sure of the spelling..) but right now wednesdays are my favourite days.. its like my mid-week stepping stone, not to mention my goal every start of the week.. it makes going to school every day that much more manageable.. you know why, not only do we end school early, i only have two official lessons! oh yayness.. im sorry i know i as a student i shouldnt have such attitudes about school and work and stuff.. [hmm, my mums kinda pissed now cos im blogging, and according to her, blogging = chatting and chatting = bad/waste of time] but anywaysies. somehow my wednesdays keep getting cluttered up by other things.. oh wells.. wednesday is my stepping stone! and im gonna make full use of it.. even though it really is kinda stupid cos this week is kinda crazy.. but stress makes me a happier person... sometimes. most of the times. i dunno, somewhere in between, more like.. like gp package test today, i dunno why but i felt really happy doing it haha.. even though i couldnt find all the answers when i did read the package.. i felt that i was actually using my brain, although it could be counted as a speed reading test lah but anyways.. can feel the tired-bug creeping in, so good night. (i was tempted to say and good luck but never mind)
12:38 am
Sunday, January 21, 2007
hahahahaha i now know where the word narcissistic comes from.. i read this in my sisters Jumbo Fairy Tales.. its super funny lah..
Once upon a time... in ancient Greece there lived a handsome young man called Narcissus. Narcissus was very proud of his perfect face and graceful body, and never missed a chance to look at his reflection in the water. He would lie for hours admiring his dark eyes, slender nose, slim hips and mop of curly hair. One day, Narcissus was walking by a cold mountain stream. "You are handsome, Narcissus!" he told himself as he bent down to admire his reflection. Naecissus was suddenly seized by the desire to kiss his own reflection and he leant closer to the water. But he lost his balance and fell in. Narcissus could not swim and so he drowned. But when the gods discovered that the most beautiful being on earth had died, they decided that such beauty could not be forgotten. The gods turned Narcissus into a scented flower which blossoms in spring, and which we call Narcissus.
hahaha rights? anyways, went for my first math tuition again in dunno goodness knows how long.. my dad asked me how was it so i said i did more math than i did in a long time.. and then he was like err either you have done super little math or he gave you way too much work, and i dont think he gave you too much.. uhh yes, better start working harder.. anyways that wasnt my point.. i tell you arhs, men are so protective of their ego sometimes its like uuurrhhh... right. i shant name any examples, later i embarrass somebody.. but anyway. it does happen alot. thank goodness the guys in school are still somewhat half-boys so it doesnt really make a difference.. speaking of growing up, i think im getting better at the skill of small talk.. yay. that is a good thing right... i think.
5:04 pm
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
everybody seems so stressed.. so heres to all frazzled/overwhelmed/stressed/busy-to-the-point-of-feeling-like-dying/tired/distracted/sad/about-to-give-up people out there: *gives you a huge huge hug despite the incredulous look on your face and the possibly rigid muscles*
11:20 pm
Monday, January 15, 2007
omg i feel like such a loser. i mean seriously. i cant even get ready for school the next day.. i am so behind just thinking about what i need to do first is taking me forever.. i can only find one math tutorial.. one pathetic little tutorial which might or might not already been gone through.. and the rest is i have no idea where.. i assumed for the whole hols that i would be dropping math not chem, but now its like the other way round.. i have this loads and loads of chem stuff but the math stuff from school seems to be playing hide-and-seek with me or something.. not funny.. you better come out now.. you know right, i did this personality dna thingy uber-long ago and the only thing i remember from it is that it said that i am slightly functional.. and im afraid im starting to think it may be right after all.. im just sitting here trying to decide which is more important and how i should go about doing it all and i just cant find a good place to start.. oh gosh.. you know how sometimes we have to rush our compo techniques, actually not we, its more like how i have to rush the compo techniques the night before.. and its like i can spend ages and ages just thinking and planning how the thing should go.. but the actual writing it down is like close to non-existent cos it just sounds so different from what i wanted and i dunno how to make it sound right.. :/ go figure.. and i dont like being late okay.. do you actually think i like going to dc? oh some people sure do.. they swagger into the library wearing their detention like a badge of honour, and basically thinking i dunno, theyre very cool or something.. talking excitedly, clustered in their small little cliques, pretending for nobody in particular that they get hauled in there every other day.. but its not them facing the three grey walls every other day.. its not them getting their face and name matched together by khaw sor lin (dunno how to spell but then i guess we all know who).. anonymity anonymity! whatever happened to anonymity?! and all i wanted was to stay invisible.. im sorry im in such a whiny mood today.. im just so tired and i wanna sleep but i know if i go and sleep ill feel really terrible for even showing up in school cos i wont be prepared.. thats the problem.. i place too much importance on ideals, and when things fall short, even by a little bit its kinda tantamount to not going for perfection at all.. and uhh so lots of things get shoved to the cannot make it (cmi) category.. i dunno, its kinda wrong right, thinking that its kinda better (and most definitely easier) to not try at all than to try and not to reach it.. urgh oh wells.. i can think of a million reasons why i shouldnt go to school tomorrow.. but then again, there are probably two million reasons why i should go to school tomorrow.. :(
11:26 pm
Saturday, January 13, 2007
my brain feels like i havent talked enough for today.. and since nobody in the house is awake enough to carry on a conversation and talking in my head gets me nowhere sometimes, so here i am.. you know i think i need some mental therapy.. nono not the kind you go to a shrink for.. but like sorta mental excercises kind.. i have a feeling some (if not most) of the nerves/brain cells up there have atrophied.. either that or ive progressed really far down the aging cycle.. sometimes i pick up something and wonder what i needed it for in the first place.. or i walk into a room and think what did i want to do here? its scary, okay.. im supposed to be young and with the rest of my life wonderfully laid out in front of me, red carpet or no.. and i also cant seem to concentrate and stick with one thing for extended periods of time.. its like everything (okay not everything, but many things) is mildly interesting and sort of important, but i just concentrate on it/them.. i just cant find that one thing which i can pour my energies into.. instead im flitting from thing to thing and finally earmarking each and every one of them for: later. *grumbles* smart ideas, anyone? i thought maybe i should go excercise regularly or something.. according to my parents it helps the bloodflow, but how that affects the brains im not too sure.. i remember last time when i was in sec one when i was in the squash team thingy.. okay not team lah, it was kinda like training squad.. which i dropped out of after a year but anyways.. i remember i felt kinda uhh, smart.. if thats even possible haha.. anyways since now im on this topic.. there was this one time when i was playing with this girl who eventually went to rg, i think it suited her much better, the environment.. and the ball was really really far away from me, like an unrunnable distance kinda far.. so i kinda leaped/stretched out my body towards it and just hit.. from the vibrations in the racket i could tell it wasnt gonna make it.. but then mr ong was like, thats what i call determination or sth like that, and the other girl was saying something too so i thought omg you mean it became a really low drop shot or sth?!? turns out the ball did reach the front wall, but just nice hit the tin (dunno how to spell).. got a bruise on my hip for a while, but i guess the feeling kinda compensated for it.. anyways, had a great time with squash.. it taught me alot, though i was never good at it.. i was thinking of starting to cycle to school everyday when school started.. but then one of the tyres on my bike is punctured, so no go.. (btw i got the bike when i was in p5, so thats how long the thing has been lying around..) yeah, i was also telling myself to sleep at eleven and wake up at six every day but so far that plan hasnt materialised.. apparently seven hours sleeping time gives you the longest life.. any longer or shorter than that shortens your life.. and eleven to six is the best cos its the time when your bone marrow is replacing your red blood cells.. or something like that.. anyways, i think id better be more grateful.. people who are more appreciative are usually happier people.. it gets those endorphins all fired up i guess.. so im making a list of ten things im thankful for so far this year.. so here goes, in no particular order.. okay there is, i guess.. its the order in which they pop into my head.. but thats not really much of an order so haha.. 1) i have found the secret to my mothers happiness.. okay, not really.. but it is a start.. my mother, and i also think all middle aged working women with kids, experience insecurity in terms of where they stand with their kids and their husband and their work and so on and so on and all they want is to be heard and to be understood.. my dad doesnt help very much cos mainly hes going like "peace.. i just want some peace.. cant we have some peace" and im like uhh, thats not helping very much.. but of course i was careful not to point that out.. the two days he was away we managed to do some mother-daughter bonding *cringes at the term* when she fetched me home.. and the fetching home is also a rather rare, and also recent occurrence.. but anyways, it didnt matter how lame i was, or how oh-my-goodness-is-it-snowing-in-singapore-ishly friendly i was, all she wanted was to be listened to.. it also didnt matter that i wasnt an adult, and so couldnt really understand where she was coming from.. i guess i could, if i really tried.. but doing so would mean reminding myself that i could be a better daughter, so lets just stay here.. anyways, it did give me some kind of immunity when i got home.. its not that she doesnt still nag or anything.. but its more of a i-dont-wanna-do-this-but-im-your-parent-i-have-to-do-this-its-for-your-own-good weary kind of way.. and shes kinda happier, which definitely happier yay. haha im still experiencing some of the lingering (though fast-fading) effects even though my dads been back for a few days.. 2) i guess im glad that im back in school.. enough said.. 3) and i definitely am glad that im alive.. if not, i wouldnt be right here typing away at the keyboard, experiencing all that im experiencing now.. and knowing that theres more to come.. life isnt all as bad as it seems, you know.. its just that when things seem really bad, its only because your eyes are closed to the good things.. might as well make full use of it right.. why hurry yourself down to the next part of the journey? theres this story dunno whether you know it or not.. might be a bit wrong though.. used to have it on my wall but its a bit blurry now.. about this man who died and saw his whole life as a set of footprints on a long beach.. at some sections there were two sets of footprints, and he recognized the second set as gods.. then he noticed that the times there was only one set were the times when he felt the most hopeless and the most alone.. he felt really disappointed and cheated.. "God," he shouted, "when I was sad and alone, why were you not there?" and God answered, "My son, that was when I carried you." okay yes yes i know i kinda spoilt the story with my storytelling but i guess you get the idea.. whatever youre going through right now may seem like its really the end of the world, but trust me it will get better somehow.. god is carrying you right now, even if you dont feel/know it yet.. okay yes, i dont go to church, and i have my doubts as to whether the god i was brought up to believe in really is god.. but i think there is a god, only im not sure which is the right one.. im not an atheist.. not yet, anyways.. okay sorry didnt mean to be all preachy and all.. but it kinda just spilled out.. i didnt write this because of what you told me.. lets just get on with life, shall we? *extends a hand* 4) okay number four and im finding it hard already.. uhhh.. im really glad i was put into mg.. i didnt have a sister studying there, didnt have a mother who studied there, didnt belong to an affiliated church/organisation, didnt stay within the 2km radius, and basically didnt qualify for any of the earlier phases.. put simply, i balloted (well my parents did anyways, i didnt really get what was going on then) and i got in.. just like that.. and i guess the rest as they say, is history.. its been a wonderful ten years and though thats like more than half of my life right now so i cant really be a very good judge, i think thats a ten years of my life that i will never forget.. i used to think that those people who paid hundred dollars or more at those fundraising gala dinners were crazy.. but maybe sometime next time when im like super rich or something ill book a whole table and invite all my friends.. yes, for friendships made and pleasures shared.. any mg girls reading this right now? *hugs you like mad and simply squeezes the air out of you* 5) i think im fast exhausting the list of things i am really really grateful for.. so i think ill cut the list down to five.. lalaland is abeckoning anyway.. im really really glad im born as a normal human being.. and by normal i mean in medical terms.. no physical handicaps, no mental impairment, no degenerative diseases and so on.. i mean, yeah sure i feel like im a weird person when i talk to some people, but i can run! i can talk, i can stare at this computer screen, i can breathe without needing having air filtered into my lungs, i can sleep without the fear that i may never wake, and i can wake with the comfort that ill never be ostracized for not being like others.. (again by this i mean in a very basic kinda way) oh yes, i can hear..
1:49 am
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
the monotony of school life rears its ugly head again.. and i dont really get to see my friends so much nowadays.. oh wait a minute, thats when i even recognise them when i see them.. its kinda like we all changed so much that we dont know who we all are anymore.. i think. but anyways, i think this new timetabling thingy (well for me, at least) has its merits i guess.. at least now im not blindly following people to classes haha.. even though theres more unfamiliar faces and so on but oh well.. it feels oddly liberating somehow.. the people i kinda like spend time with are a mellower bunch.. doing crazy running around weird stuff doesnt seem to be the norm.. and doing crazy running around weird stuff alone seems to be a bit uhh, crazy? i cant decide whether i prefer to be alone or with other people.. i cant say that im happier when im alone.. happier as in a floating around soaking up the energy of the cosmos kinda way, then yeah of course.. but happier as in a laugh-out-loud kinda way then i guess maybe not.. i mean yeah i find things that are funny when im alone, but more of in a exhalation-of-breath kinda way, and not a ha-ha-ha-omg-why-are-the-people-on-the-bus-suddenly-giving-me-weird-looks kinda way.. anyways, i think my sense of humour has kinda evolved into err i dunno what.. cos sometimes i say things i think is funny then all i get is blank stares.. but anyhow, gtg, so yeah. the dresden dolls make me happy.. plus, they look soo cute together.. *jumps around in victorian clothing*
11:37 pm
Sunday, January 07, 2007
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." Stephen Roberts
they all think they know me, but how they, when im not so sure i even know myself...
out, out, ye demons of passive aggression! (haha ann robers would be proud of me)
8:27 am
Friday, January 05, 2007
you know what, the very first school week of 2007 has ended.. and it wasnt so bad afterall.. walking into the huddle of my classmates that very first morning, it felt good actually, to be seeing all of them again.. even though i dont really know anybody all that well, and uhh i guess vice versa lah huh.. i kinda grinned at them a little and some of the looked positively freaked out that i was smiling at them.. like their facial muscles were kinda frozen or something haha.. but anyways, it feels good to be back in school, no matter what i say all year round about having longer holidays and hoping that therell miraculously be more public holidays and grumbling about everything it brings.. but i like the order.. not that school can bring that much order when youre not in school half the time (figure of speech okay, i didnt pon so much).. yes but anyways. thats what my holidays lacked i think.. a sense of moving forward, and all the little deadlines that we have to meet.. methinks, those rusty cogs and wheels up there are finally starting to turn again.. nothing like a little bit of stress to make me a happier person.. anyways, lessons went better than i expected, although there was one exception though.. H1 chem tutorial bores the life out of me.. things move so s s s s s s s l l l l l l l l l o o o o o o o o o o o o w w w w w l l l l l l l l y y y y i wonder why the teacher doesnt get bored himself.. or maybe he his.. but he seems so happy asking him would really be a bad idea..
10:07 pm
Monday, January 01, 2007
i am grumpy. what a way to start the new year.. i was finishing up all the filing i was supposed to have done in the year 2006 and i found lots and lots of things.. like my math notes which i had no idea where it went to, but actually it didnt really matter, me not having it then.. it wasnt tested for promos.. wait a sec, what difference does it make anyway? i still failed math.. yes, and i found some library books which i forgot that i borrowed, after my dad made a trip to the library.. and loads of other odds and ends, including some really bring-a-smile-to-my-face things from the past.. but anyway. now im nearly nearly done.. but i feel really pissed off at myself.. what on earth have i been doing this last 365 days? it feels like i zombified/slept through the entire year, with nothing to show for it.. okay maybe one thing.. finding out that it actually is possible to accomplish absolutely nothing in an entire year.. does that count? all those blank blank blank notes/worksheets/what-have-you.. some of the stuff is actually really interesting.. i was just too dumb stoning around to notice any of it passing by.. all the zoning out in class and pretending really hard that im paying attention, nodding my head and staring at the scrawlings on the board.. rargh. all the teachers must think im one weird student.. no trouble at all, seeming to be really hard at work, yet unparticipative.. yes, and always together with the other girl, the really hardworking one.. i managaed to escape unnoticed for awhile in chem class you know.. what with me never really being in school anyway.. then there was this test that i failed, then she noticed me.. hahaha i should have just studied harder and passed.. maybe id still be anonymous.. yes, i cant believe ive not prodded my grey matter this year.. i cant believe i felt relieved that i got 36/100 and not anything worse.. stupid way of living, simply dragging myself through each and every day.. not that there is anything much to look forward to in school.. ac saps the life force out of me, somehow.. not that id say its a bad place.. but anyway, no, i am so not making any resolutions this year.. dont make me make promises i cant keep.. old me, new me, old me, new me.. its that time of the year when they force a resolution you have no intention/ability to keep right down your throat, all in the name of your own good.. "sometimes you can be a little individualistic" he said.. translated to plainspeak, it means something along the lines of "gail many times you are more than a little selfish, no correction, make that very" yeah okay whatever. it was you who taught me to do that.. unknowingly, of course.. im sorry but im not doing things simply because it makes you happy (no, actually change that to "think that nothing is wrong") so stop saying that i cant stand on my own okay and let me try.. stop thinking of me as an extension of your already sunny lives.. both of you, the ceo and the major.. and if i fail, if i die less "successful" than you or something, who cares okay.. its my life, not anybody elses..
girl anachronism you can tell
from the scars on my arms
and cracks in my hips
and the dents in my car
and the blisters on my lips
that i'm not the carefullest of girls you can tell
from the glass on the floor
and the strings that're breaking
and i keep on breaking more
and it looks like i am shaking
but it's just the temperature
and then again
if it were any colder i could disengage
if i were any older i could act my age
but i dont think that youd believe me
it's
not
the
way
i'm
meant
to
be
it's just the way the operation made me
and you can tell
from the state of my room
that they let me out too soon
and the pills that i ate
came a couple years too late
and ive got some issues to work through
there i go again pretending to be you
make-believing that i have a soul beneath the surface
trying to convince you
it was accidentally on purpose
i am not so serious
this passion is a plagiarism
i might join your century
but only on a rare occasion
i was taken out before the labor pains set in and now
behold the world's worst accident
i am the girl anachronism
and you can tell
by the red in my eyes
and the bruises on my thighs
and the knots in my hair
and the bathtub full of flies
that i'm not right now at all
there i go again pretending that i'll fall
don't call the doctors
cause they've seen it all before
they'll say just
let
her
crash
and
burn
she'll learn
the attention just encourages her
and you can tell
from the full-body cast
that i'm sorry that i asked
though you did everything you could
(like any decent person would)
but i might be catching so don't touch
you'll start believing youre immune to gravity and stuff
don't get me wet
because the bandages will all come off
and you can tell
from the smoke at the stake
that the current state is critical
well it is the little things, for instance:
in the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses:
please excuse her for the day, its just the way the medication makes her...
i dont necessarily believe there is a cure for this
so i might join your century but only as a doubtful guest
i was too precarious removed as a caesarian
behold the worlds worst accident
I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM
oh yes i nearly forgot. happy new year folks.
1:08 am
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.