Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Monday, January 01, 2007
i am grumpy. what a way to start the new year.. i was finishing up all the filing i was supposed to have done in the year 2006 and i found lots and lots of things.. like my math notes which i had no idea where it went to, but actually it didnt really matter, me not having it then.. it wasnt tested for promos.. wait a sec, what difference does it make anyway? i still failed math.. yes, and i found some library books which i forgot that i borrowed, after my dad made a trip to the library.. and loads of other odds and ends, including some really bring-a-smile-to-my-face things from the past.. but anyway. now im nearly nearly done.. but i feel really pissed off at myself.. what on earth have i been doing this last 365 days? it feels like i zombified/slept through the entire year, with nothing to show for it.. okay maybe one thing.. finding out that it actually is possible to accomplish absolutely nothing in an entire year.. does that count? all those blank blank blank notes/worksheets/what-have-you.. some of the stuff is actually really interesting.. i was just too dumb stoning around to notice any of it passing by.. all the zoning out in class and pretending really hard that im paying attention, nodding my head and staring at the scrawlings on the board.. rargh. all the teachers must think im one weird student.. no trouble at all, seeming to be really hard at work, yet unparticipative.. yes, and always together with the other girl, the really hardworking one.. i managaed to escape unnoticed for awhile in chem class you know.. what with me never really being in school anyway.. then there was this test that i failed, then she noticed me.. hahaha i should have just studied harder and passed.. maybe id still be anonymous.. yes, i cant believe ive not prodded my grey matter this year.. i cant believe i felt relieved that i got 36/100 and not anything worse.. stupid way of living, simply dragging myself through each and every day.. not that there is anything much to look forward to in school.. ac saps the life force out of me, somehow.. not that id say its a bad place.. but anyway, no, i am so not making any resolutions this year.. dont make me make promises i cant keep.. old me, new me, old me, new me.. its that time of the year when they force a resolution you have no intention/ability to keep right down your throat, all in the name of your own good.. "sometimes you can be a little individualistic" he said.. translated to plainspeak, it means something along the lines of "gail many times you are more than a little selfish, no correction, make that very" yeah okay whatever. it was you who taught me to do that.. unknowingly, of course.. im sorry but im not doing things simply because it makes you happy (no, actually change that to "think that nothing is wrong") so stop saying that i cant stand on my own okay and let me try.. stop thinking of me as an extension of your already sunny lives.. both of you, the ceo and the major.. and if i fail, if i die less "successful" than you or something, who cares okay.. its my life, not anybody elses..
girl anachronism you can tell
from the scars on my arms
and cracks in my hips
and the dents in my car
and the blisters on my lips
that i'm not the carefullest of girls you can tell
from the glass on the floor
and the strings that're breaking
and i keep on breaking more
and it looks like i am shaking
but it's just the temperature
and then again
if it were any colder i could disengage
if i were any older i could act my age
but i dont think that youd believe me
it's
not
the
way
i'm
meant
to
be
it's just the way the operation made me
and you can tell
from the state of my room
that they let me out too soon
and the pills that i ate
came a couple years too late
and ive got some issues to work through
there i go again pretending to be you
make-believing that i have a soul beneath the surface
trying to convince you
it was accidentally on purpose
i am not so serious
this passion is a plagiarism
i might join your century
but only on a rare occasion
i was taken out before the labor pains set in and now
behold the world's worst accident
i am the girl anachronism
and you can tell
by the red in my eyes
and the bruises on my thighs
and the knots in my hair
and the bathtub full of flies
that i'm not right now at all
there i go again pretending that i'll fall
don't call the doctors
cause they've seen it all before
they'll say just
let
her
crash
and
burn
she'll learn
the attention just encourages her
and you can tell
from the full-body cast
that i'm sorry that i asked
though you did everything you could
(like any decent person would)
but i might be catching so don't touch
you'll start believing youre immune to gravity and stuff
don't get me wet
because the bandages will all come off
and you can tell
from the smoke at the stake
that the current state is critical
well it is the little things, for instance:
in the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses:
please excuse her for the day, its just the way the medication makes her...
i dont necessarily believe there is a cure for this
so i might join your century but only as a doubtful guest
i was too precarious removed as a caesarian
behold the worlds worst accident
I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM
oh yes i nearly forgot. happy new year folks.
1:08 am
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
