Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous ĂȘtes venu au faux endroit.
Friday, March 30, 2007
i just had the weirdest phone call ever.. this guy called me and said congratulations you have shortlisted for some job or something to that effect.. i cant remember how the sentence went, cos when i heard the word congratulations my brain went: hoax hoax scam scam scam! and i was like, err... so apparently theres this company, if im not wrong he said its like vj something, i cant remember what.. thats expanding thats looking for like tertiary students to help or sth.. somehow the name made me feel kinda reassured, like cos in sec two i think i nearly went for this job with this really really small publishing company called vj something or other, which was really dumb cos actually theyre in a way making use of you to get your contacts to sell their books.. cos its a telemarketing job, and they "test" you by seeing how many friends you can sell to and from there project your salary.. yes that was me in sec one or sec two.. i couldnt get why my parents said going for it was a bad idea until a while later.. anyways, the book they were promoting was kinda uhh, i mean its the kind i wouldnt even bat an eyelid over, even at that age.. yesyes i know, never judge a book by its cover and all.. but i have this i dunno, dislike.. for books which are thinner than a certain thickness.. i have no idea why also.. maybe its because it ends before youre really started.. anyways, so then he went blahblahblah, and threw in the word NASA with some chim forgetable program name, which was totally the clincher.. when i heard NASA i was like omgomg, all ears and everything, and started thinking this whole thing was cool.. cos last time when i was younger i wanted to work at NASA.. not as an astronaut, i knew that somehow i wouldnt make the cut, but one of the ground crew or anything. im pretty sure theres lots of stuff to do, and i just wanted to be in on it, there, helping to make history happen.. but then i went and checked it out and realised that they only took US citizens and experts in the various fields and i was like OH. 1) its like kinda retarded if you go all the trouble to become a US citizen just for a coveted job at NASA, not knowing if they will eventually take you in or not.. and 2) how on earth do you go about becoming an expert in a field which NASA would headhunt for? and so i guess it died there.. anyways, now thinking about it, he might now even have said my name.. he just called and introduced himself.. you know this kind of thing, when carefully chosen words, and of course not forgetting the deliberately unspoken words somehow when said correctly give the impression of something which is not said, but such a strong impression its as good as said.. like putting words in your head or something like that.. putting ideas there that might not even exist.. i just have this nagging feeling that he didnt say my name.. haha not that im super in love with my name or anything.. oh and he was like what course are you in and blahblah.. then when he heard im in ac, he was like oh youre not in *i cant remember the name* poly? never been to *cant remember the name* poly? let me update my database.. im very certain he said the poly thing at least twice, and the "database" word too.. but the poly thing more than the database thing.. the database thing has a very reassuring effect, like its all official and stuff.. cos when i was looking for a job i kinda left my name anywhere and everywhere i could.. but which company will do their stuff like around ten at night? and you know what the address he gave is like the MDIS headquarters address and like ...? yeah anyways, i cant remember what exactly my point was when i started typing this whole thing so yeah.. anyways, i was telling people about this book i was reading, with this gay guy whos lover comitted suicide and all that.. and i could tell i kinda lost them halfway, like the way i tend to lose people when i start telling them about the wheel of time or i dunno, whatever fantasy stuff im reading at that time.. oh yes, the whole wheel of time collection is still firmly on my want list.. maybe cos 1) im not that much of a story teller.. 2) like a story about this gay magician guy? you read this for fun? *raise eyebrows* 3) there wasnt very much of a plot to begin with.. this writer isnt too great at writing fantasy, amazingly she has a fan club.. omg? yeah so it got me thinking about how i got to be interested in all this stuff anyways.. the whole fantasy thing, it was sort of a gradual shift.. i mean, i always did like reading, its sort of an escape from reality, okay not that my life sucks real bad or anything.. but i guess ive always been sort of a dreamer, and in more recent years quite an escapist.. haha oh if im not wrong i started falling asleep in class in p3 so me continuing to do so now doesnt surprise me all that much.. not that its an excuse to do so lah, but as i was saying, books were a separate world.. i used to pretend to be doing work but actually i was reading and when my parents came in i would like hide the book somwhere.. oh yes i thought of many imaginative ways of sneaking books into the toilet.. if you ask anyone at home theyll tell you that i take very, very long in the toilet.. so i was starting to migrate more towards fantasy instead on real-life sort of fiction.. cos before that i was reading more of stuff like bubble boy and stuff that was way more possible in real life.. and before before that was nancy drew.. i loved nancy drew to bits when i was in p3.. my first book was because i randomly chanced upon one in my class library, one of those small bookshelfy things which you can hardly call a library.. that led me to nancy drew and hardy boys, then hardy boys, then i grew out of it about a year later.. and so on.. but what really got me started on the whole omg fantasy is really my thing was believe it or not, my cousin.. one day while visiting, he started telling me about the wheel of time, cos we were always sorta the readers in the family, and besides my sis, all the rest of the cousins are way to young.. it was kind awkward, cos like as we grew up we grew apart, not that we were very close to begin with.. but its like you have memories of you guys playing together when youre younger and suddenly everybodys kinda grown up from what you last remembered and somehow little games dont seem to pass the time any longer.. so anyways, once he started telling me about it, i was hooked. i wouldnt say for life, but seeing as i still havent finished it off, and i still have this need to, yeah im pretty much hooked.. robert jordan has this ability to weave multiple storylines at the same time.. so to keep track of things is quite tough.. so if i want to finish it off i have to start from book one again or ill get lost.. as a result book one is a bit sian now cos i keep on rereading it but keep on getting lost along the way.. the furthest ive ever gotten was book five or six.. and there are twelve books in total.. crazy right? that guy has an amazing imagination.. i mean, trilogies yeah.. but twelve?? *faints* and im only like halfway.. :( anyways, so theres the fantasy part.. i cant remember a specific time when i started reading books which were like.. not-so-right.. but i remember a (now) funny incident when i was in sec one.. it was another of those books which i got off from the mini fair at ridiculously low prices.. the titles something like the man who stole other mens wives.. this sounds super not-right, but the gist of it is right lah.. i still have an impression of the cover.. a picture of this guy's front with womens hands like unbuttoning his white shirt, with the title and stuff in gold.. so i was kinda like finding the whole book superbly funny and decided to like share the joy a little.. obviously my friends were like what on earth hahaha? and then nat lim (yeah she was our form teacher then) and she came over and was like what is that??? and she was like so i dunno how to call it, but she decided to confiscate it and throw it away.. awww, before anyone else could get a chance at it.. i was funny.. i dont know if she actually threw it away in the end.. haha maybe she read it first.. but anyways, it was about this guy who got disowned by his uber-rich dad, and cos hes spoilt rotten and has no idea what on earth work is.. his friends decide that he should put his good looks to good use.. so tralala the story goes along, and in the end he helps those tai-tai kinda women make their husbands come back to them by making them jealous and pretending to have affairs and all.. of course, the rest is up to your imagination.. anyways, so i guess what im reading now isnt all that bad after all, considering what i read when i was younger.. although (sorry i keep on harping on him but.. ) robert jordan set the bar real high for other fantasy in terms of imagination-wise.. although i havent read LOTR.. thats like crazy right, how can i not.. but its so thick and the words so small (yes, even for me) and gives me such a feeling of lorh-sorhdness that i didnt even try.. besides, i watched the movies already, and that kinda spoils everything doesnt it.. anyways, this week has been a very uhh, eventful week and i daresay im looking forward to the weekend lots.. *begins the celebrating* but its bad lah, i think, if i look forward to the weekend so much each and every week.. ill be like so concentrating on simply getting through that i dont actually get anything much done.. oh wells.. ah, what a nice long thingy today.. my fingers feel liberated.. *fingers do a tribal dance*
9:59 pm
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
you know whats?
rargh. rarghrarghrargh.
11:11 pm
Sunday, March 25, 2007
the lament of the slacker
oh my gosh, why am i such a slacker?! :( right now my brain is dying, my eyes are dying.. aaaahhhahhhhhhaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.. that was an ah by the way, not an elongated hahaha.. my house is in a state of i dunno what to call it, chaos, i guess.. i think/guess it all started with me, now everybodys packing too.. i started with trying to create some semblance of neatness from my room, and whenever that happens, what results is always an even bigger mess.. guess what, i found so many things haha.. like ALL THREE bio notes i supposedly lost before the bio paper.. and even more photos of me and qiyi at our very first zoo trip in sec one, both looking like some weird kids hahaha.. and adeles yoyoma cd.. and more stuff belonging to both of them.. (yes if i happen to have anything of yours, please please tell me so that i can keep an eye out for it) and guess what.. i found my HARMONY FILES.. kind of felt like dying.. and lets see, lots of stuff from yesteryear.. my room is like a treasure trove of things from the past.. like every drawer or obscure corner has some stuff that i decided that i wasnt gonna throw away at some point in time, either that or i completely forgot about it.. so i kinda kiv-ed the whole packing up the subsequent mess, no matter the war-zone-ish-ness of my room, and im trying to like do some work now but to my dismay/horror of horrors, my brain has like rusted behind and i have no idea how and where to begin.. you know like how they say that in order to learn you actually have to form new synapses in your brain, and when youre old you lose your memory because no new synapses are formed but since you dont use your brain as much, the rest of the synapses kinda disintegrate/die-off from the lack of use.. yeah thats me, somewhat fastforwarded a couple of decades.. and theres like so much to do i have like zero idea where to begin.. methinks i need another holiday.. like another week, or actually another two weeks.. a month will be too long, ill probably start slacking again right off.. yes i am INCORRIGIBLE, i know.. ah, what am i to do with myself.. oh but anyways, i am so gonna recycle tomorrow, and i am super proud of myself for that haha, even though i havnt actually done the deed, but yeah.. i mean think about it, when was the last time you actually recycled, or did something for the earth that you live in, and for the most part, take for granted.. the last time i (partially) cleared out my room i had this HUGE stack of papers to go recycle, but it was so large i was so lazy to actually lug it to a recycling bin.. then either of my parents got tired of these huge piles/bags of papers that they just threw it away one day.. yeah.. but yes this time im really gonna recycle okay.. yes for all who didnt know, ac actually has a recycling bin for paper only.. i myself found out like after one whole year in school, so fast right.. anyways, you know right besides soft boiling eggs, i wanna learn how to make jam next.. anybody got any idea how to make nice jam? any flavour also can.. haha i remember when i was younger i tried to make butter cos the barney show showed that if you put milk in a jar and you kept on shaking, somehow it would turn to butter.. not sure how correct that was though, cos mine certainly stayed as milk.. a rather frothy, bubbly milk, but still milk.. i even put salt in it cos apparently butter is salted? anyways, jam anyone?
3:23 pm
Friday, March 23, 2007
yes i made it through.. boy am i glad.. okay so what now.. its the nose back to the grinding stone i suppose.. okay so before that, heres an overview of my week.. having it down somewhere makes everything seem more real somehow.. okay so it all started on tuesday.. well for me at least.. what paper was that.. oh yes math.. that was quite expected lah i think, but i guess you could call it a bad start to everything.. im hoping for some miracle that i can scrape a pass but being realistic i guess thats just fantasy.. then bio.. i used to like have this i dunno what you call it, policy (?) of telling myself to enjoy the bio papers.. i mean like if you have enough content knowledge you will really enjoy the paper.. really really, im serious.. BUT THEN, i guess this obviously wasnt the case lah.. nowadays its more like a frantic scramble to like dump out the stuff that was just dumped in like 24 hours before, assuming that not too much of it gets stuck in between, that is.. haha then the ultimate day, thursday.. you know, i was so happy i was writing a song and not like sleeping during chem i forgot to go and randomly fill in the mcq which i didnt know how to do.. i mean like how stooopid is that.. i just like completely gave those questions away lah.. okay fine, not like a couple of lucky marks can do anything much to save me lah but still.. but anyways, haha i was kinda proud of the song.. its supposed to sound like very evanescence-ish but some word phrasings different.. but the thing is, its supposed to have a very electric guitar-ish sound in the background but then i like know completely nothing about electric guitars so yeah, haha.. okay so music was just music.. i guess i really should have tried for that lah.. as somebody recently told me, "actually the music teachers are the only ones who really care whether you live or die in this school.." i guess to a certain extent that is true.. :/ makes everybody else sound so cold and heartless right.. but think about it lah, if i like just drop out of school or something (not that i didnt contemplate that but anyways), my form teacher will be like oh okay.. probably make some funny sacarstic remark? okay lah, maybe shell be a bit concerned.. my math teacher will heave a sigh of relief (and a huge one at that), so will my chem teacher haha (omg i ran into him today and he gave me what would most definitely qualify as a deathly glare) and i guess my prescence/abscence wont make much of a difference to my bio teacher either.. so yeah.. ANYWAYS. enough of my rubbishing.. i have learnt the secret of how they do it today.. the trick is to imagine you are alone.. like alone alone.. and even the page-turner is like i dunno, some magical entity or something.. and your world is pared down to a one-metre radius around you.. okay thats kinda small, two metres.. nothing else exists, just you and you alone.. no, not even the camera recording thingy.. oh wells.. okay another thing i learnt today.. i suck at opening durians hahaha.. i mean seriously.. oh yes talking about food.. i am nearly reaching the perfect soft-boiling technique for eggs.. you know how like even the simplest things are in fact very hard to do well? yeah i guess this is one really good example of it.. first you must see the size of the egg.. then you must see the water and try to imagine how hot it is.. yes, haha imagine, i know.. cos you know right, i think the best time to put the eggs (i boil two at a time in case anyone really wants to try..) is just before it boils.. but the thing is, just before the water boils is like very very wide, the range.. i mean, theres like the bubbles just starting to form.. and then theres the bubbles.. and then theres the bubbles and the steam when you open the lid.. i think if you put it in when its like really boiling boiling, cos its already too late, and you end up getting an outside which is hard, but the inside is uncooked.. oh and the yolk will be way too runny.. okay so for like kampung eggs its like three to four minutes, depending on the water.. and the normal singapore factory kind of eggs is like at least four minutes, but im not so sure exactly how long cos i tried more on the kampung kind.. its nicer heh.. everytime we make a trip back to malacca then my grandfather will give us like i dunno, some twenty eggs.. and its really sweet cos we're the ones who like the eggs, and they have to like collect it for a while first, cos they only have like i dunno, less than five chickens.. and must like every day go and collect.. its really really nice you know.. the yolk is like a deep orange, not like the singapore-buy-from-super-market kind which is like a paler shade of yellow and is not as thick.. oh and the shells are amazing haha.. they are so hard that you have to almost hammer the eggs before you can crack the shell.. oh yes, and another amazing thing about the chickens, they sleep in a tree.. they dont actually fly up to the tree, but they flutter/jump from roof to roof before they end up on the tree.. yes so anyways, i guess its time for me to leave behind the reassuring sound of the keyboard..
8:03 pm
Thursday, March 22, 2007
you know what, im finding it hard to like even bother to muster any energy to prepare any more.. this week is so going not well and im just tired.. you know what, just fail me.. maybe ill feel better then.. okay you know what, dont fail me.. i dont wanna go ssp.. that is like such a waste of my time.. i think i should stop living a deluded life ahahah, whatever that means.. i think i do too much of thinking everythings way better or worse than it actually is.. in this case its the first one i guess.. two chapters of the tys and i thought i was fine.. and now, im going to school with no head knowledge at all, perhaps excluding secondary alcohols get oxidized to form ketones and stravinsky composed pulcinella in 1919 cos the ballet guy asked him to.. this week, hurry, be over.. i want my solitary life back..
Another ditch in the road You keep moving
7:07 am
Sunday, March 18, 2007
i tell you, my dad is.. very amazing.. haha i wanted to say the most amazing man on earth but i decided that it would be a really bad idea cos 1) it would be an extreme understatement and 2) thats the name of the very first robert rankin book i ever read.. or was it the most amazing man who ever lived.. but anyway, it was good.. i mean crazy sort of good.. one book and i was hooked.. like for life. it was at one of those mg mini fairs, you know way back before they stopped it and restarted it when mg primary moved back.. there was one year i was super kiasu lah.. i bought sooo many books, i had to like lug it in my bag and two huge plastic bags.. when i was still a primary school kid. yeah that was how kiasu i was okay.. (but they were so cheap like $0.20 and $0.50 okay.. i practically bust all the money i had on that one book-grabbing session.. ) yeah that book lasted a few years in storage before i actually got round to reading it.. i mean if you really wanna Laugh Out Loud, robert rankins the man.. yes so anyways.. back to my dad.. i really love listening to him talk, i could listen to him talk like forever.. okay not if its about how i should study and like do something about the mess i call my room but yeah i guess you get the picture.. you know how we have to go back to malacca like at least twice a year.. then ill sit in the front seat cos im like "bigger".. not bigger as in age bigger, but like size bigger.. my sis used to complain and whine and stuff but in the end i always ended up in front.. now its like a part of the way things are.. now i dont think she even bothers to raise a sniffle about me sitting in front.. yeah so they will all start dozing off after a while in ill be awake listening to those old love songs that came complimentary with the car.. you know like if you get there before i do, dont give up on me, i will be there when my chores are through, i dont know how long ill be and other stuff.. and i like the long silences and the random questions ill ask or the random statements hell make.. yeah and hell have like this long rambling answer.. he really has the ability do that sometimes.. when i was younger i used to look at the signboards saying how long more to go and like watch the mini markers at the road side and count down the kilometers.. now i prefer to look for stars, or just watch the cars.. do you know just across causeway we can see such beautiful stars simply because we have too many lights on.. but anyway. thats out of point.. yeah its really cool.. like when were on airplanes then hell tell us about planes and flying procedures and stuff, cos he used to be a pilot for a while, how cool is that.. so what i have is like a lot of random bits of information stuck in my head.. most of them i probably cant recall, but stuff like they have this circling system where the planes flying in "circles" of lowering altitudes while waiting for clearance to land.. yeah and lots others.. anyways so there a was, happily doing my thing in my room.. then my dad got this idea that he should lop off a section of the table which was purely decorative in purpose since it was, well, purely decorative in purpose.. and so i could actually stick my legs under the table and not sit like some kopitiam ah pek.. and so there he was like knocking away at the table.. then you know how theres like bits of random wood starting to stick out right, even though youre trying to get this whole chunk of wood out in one piece.. then he started like bleeding, and he went right on, bang bang bang.. ouch, i thought.. its like one of those papercuts, small but very painful and totally annoying.. its like this small looking thing, but there was like so much blood for such a small thing.. and i was like, omg stop it already.. its okay you know, i can continue sitting like a kopitiam ah pek for all i care.. but of course i didnt say that.. i just sat there and err, watched.. and held out a plaster.. talk about being helpful huh.. oh wells, i did learn today what a philip head is.. its like a screwdriver head which is like crossed instead of one line.. yeah, and he also put some carpet thingy on the floor.. so now i can almost imagine myself somewhere far away when im at my table.. cos my tables made of solid wood and stuff.. and what witht eh carpet and all, i can almost imagine a fireplace nearby, or an incredible view in front of me.. except that thats kinda impossible cos im facing a kinda claustroophobic wall cos on top of it theres two shelfs.. and oh yes you must also imagine away all the papers, so yeah.. and thats my dad for you, totally capable of being incrediblly sweet when he wants to.. did i tell you about the char siew bao.. haha i dont think i did.. yeah well another day i guess.. right now im just gonna concentrate on getting myself through to tomorrow.. who cares about school when theres the whole of wonderful life waiting just round the corner.. of course im still gonna study.. but its alot better knowing theres something on the other side.. i decided to make a birthday resolution this year hahaha even though its a long way away.. but i shant say anything yet, except that it has a ten-year deadline.. hahaha, when you know it youll simply die 1)of shock.. ie, omg gail are you crazy?!?! 2)from laughter cos its too ridiculous.. 3)saying omgomgomg i also want! in this case i guess youd be one of the rare ones though.. but in any case im not tellin yet, later i change my mind ah, knowing my short resolution rate..
11:07 pm
Thursday, March 15, 2007
yeah anyway, so here i am trying to piece back whatever i was thinking before i was rudely interrupted.. no lah actually i stole the com from my sis and she demanded a return of it so yeah..
Mary Conan Doyle, Arthur's first child, died in 1976. She had always kept one secret from her father. Touie, on her deathbed, had not only warned her daughter that Arthur would marry again; she also named his future bride as Miss Jean Leckie.
Arthur and George by Julian Barnes
i couldnt find the place where i actually wanted to quote so i guess ill have to make to with this.. when i first read it it actually sent prickles down my spine.. you know how in life sometimes the things we want the most to be, we cannot achieve, and how sometimes we end up hurting the people we love the most.. okay not saying i can truly say all this, seeing as ive only lived for what, seventeen plus years of this so-called life.. (i mean what if we're all simply a computer simulation right? or like we're simply the imagination of some weird god or something.. or i dunno, one of the countless possibilities..) so yeah. i dunno whether nobility/chivalry and all that stuff still exists in todays context.. i mean, its something nice to aspire towards, i think.. but really? you know like we had one of the practice comprehension thingies before the o levels and we did one on chivalry.. and when we heard that it was set by (correct me if im wrong) ac(i) we were like ha.ha.ha.. oh my, i am like so greedy, im thinking about what im gonna eat already.. hmm. i think its a bit weird, cos i find that i derive enjoyment more from the anticipation of things rather than the things themselves.. which seems kinda odd right.. its like i think of all the possibilities that might arise from something/a particular situation and sort of "savour" the feeling of each possiblity, whether good or bad, before deciding that the middle way is to most possible and therefore most likely to occur.. so theres sort of no use expecting anything more or less.. okay this is bad bad bad.. i should tell myself to aim for more.. you know, like the reach for the stars, even if you fail youll fall on the moon thing? somebody tell me im not talking rubbish..
11:09 am
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
why cant i. sigh.. why cant i alot of things.. you know, we're like fellow human beings, and as fellow human beings, we should all at least try to be nice to each other.. omg, this is so annoying, i cant think.. i had stuff i wanted to say, but shes like going on and on about i dunno, nothing much.. i mean seriously, she should just relax and everything will be so much better.. yes, in this situation i would definitely opt for my dads way out, except i cant really do it.. hell probably go something like.. "rose........" together with a very siananized look.. its kinda scarey, like how in parenting they only have one chance.. i mean, some more like im the eldest, so technically im the guinea pig cos they could have hardly had any practice.. its amazing, really, how parents manage to (attempt to) exude this air of confidence in what they do.. i mean like, what if i end up with something screwy and wrong with my head? its my life, ill have to live with myself for the rest of the however long i have left to live.. i mean, as it is if i were reading my life in a book, id be like.. omg, get a life girl..! how do you live with yourself?! yeah anyways.. i cant believe my mum is like so naive and so.. believing, when it comes to my little sis.. this has nothing to do with sibling rivalry/jealousy, but yes i think that children generally are very nice and innocent and all that.. but there is a sort of transition right.. people dont grow up just like that.. kids dont learn to lie overnight, not in black and white, but in shades of grey.. okay i shant say anymore.. she is my sister after all.. and my parents can raise her however they want, shes their kid.. oh just never mind the fact that they only see her for a few hours each day.. yeah so anyway, i dont think ill ever be a parent.. what if he/she/it turns out all wrong.. oh no.. okay, on a normaler note, i currently feel like im running the third or fourth round of the 2.4.. the place where you feel the most like just dropping dead and not run anymore, and the last round seems like such an unachievable goal kinda thing.. yes, the tys is determined not to like me.. :( i was all ready to make it my new best friend okay.. yes, keith tan you watch out, my math with blow you away.. okay lah, blow you away of my standard is something like a gentle breeze or something compared to other people haha, maybe hell feel tickled.. but anyways, one day itll be a typhoon or something.. (is typhoon like wind or rain.. or is it hurricane.. not tornado right.. )
10:15 pm
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
oh yes, i know people are disappointed.. i know people are probably pissed off.. or like wu hua ke suo.. i think theyre perfectly entitled to those thoughts.. if youre thinking along one of those lines, you are too.. i havent done anything to deserve otherwise, i know that.. sometimes i wonder, why do they keep trying? the teachers, why do they continue doing their thing.. the classmates and friends, why do they continue shaking their heads, and asking why? well, i guess in intensity it has died down.. i used to get calls and smses whenever i wasnt in school, people chasing after me whywhywhy? i guess now its more like okay shes not in school.. whats new. i think its better this way.. please, dont spend time and effort and not to mention part of your free outgoing or smses looking for me.. i dont think its worth it.. i mean, if it were me, i would i go through all the hassle week after week after week after week? i am not so sure.. and not to mention worksheets and schoolwork and stuff.. please dont, your concern is better spent elsewhere.. im really sure you have better things to do right.. i wonder sometimes what keeps them going.. well, more than just sometimes, lots of times.. is it a noble sense of duty that keeps them on their course? or is (for the lack of a better word) love? is it out of necessity, they really dont have any other choice? or is it now merely a habit.. i for one dont think its because im such a nice person to have around.. i prefer being alone for the most part, dunno about them.. then there is this thing about the parents.. i cant decide which is more bitter.. them giving up on my ability to make good on my promises, even though its for my own good.. or me knowing that i gave them every cause to do so.. i cannot even half-heartedly argue my case because i know that they are right, no doubt about it.. ah yes, how am i gonna survive school tomorrow and the looks on their faces..
11:50 pm
Sunday, March 04, 2007
oh. my. gosh. currently, there are a few things which are oh-my-gosh worthy.. here they are, in no particular order.. number one. oh. my. gosh, i am a newly converted fan of frank gehry.. and a very awestruck one at that.. *screams in delight* his designs are so pretty, and theyre like right out of my dreams.. nice nice nice.. i wasnt really impressed with the IR one he did, but his others really make me wanna go live in them or something.. of my favourite one is the Strata building.. at least thats what i think its called.. it looks like something right out of wizard of oz, or whatshisname.. all the angles and the straight lines and the curves.. wow. number two. oh. my. gosh, this is way cool, you really have to go watch this.. (although its run is already over, i think..) it is way cool.. actually, the start/entrance really won me over, but the middle and the climax was really nice too.. and the music and the set was really interesting too.. did you know they brought leaves all the way from china? leaves.. when here in singapore the garden city we have leaves all around.. somebody asked if they experimented with different kinds of leaves to get the desired sound.. their answer was kinda vague, but from the looks of it i dont think so leh.. *shrugs* oh yeah, what am i talking about? im talking about testing the wife which i watched yesterday.. its part of the huayi festival thingy, and it was in CHINESE. yes, omg, gail watching something in CHINESE?!? actually, it was rather easier to understand than normal chinese because of the different inflections and the tendency to drag out the words.. besides, there were subtitles at the back hahaha.. so i guess, in a way, i am a chinese opera/experimental chinese opera convert too.. i would have gone again.. if i had the money, that is.. number three. oh. my. gosh, strings is/are/might be going to japan.. *jumps around* yes, literally.. when i first heard i was super excited.. but not very much any more.. well, about the going yes.. but about the actual how-do-i-get-myself-allowed-to-go, not at all.. which brings me to number three a.. i am so gonna study super hard for terms.. yesyes, hold it before you start raising your eyebrows in scepticism.. yes, i know theres just what, two weeks left to terms.. can you believe it, everybodys lao-lao-dao-daoing did do something good after all.. i went back to check and horror of horrors, two weeks left.. DIE. yes, so i resolve to do something about it.. like, now.. my dad says that theres some universal rule.. the 80-20 rule or something like that.. i know theres a chimmer name for it but i cant remember it.. like 80% of the work can be done with 20% of the effort.. and you might be putting in 80% of the effort required and yet you accomplish only 20% of the work.. something like that.. reminded me of like how i read somewhere that 20% of the world owns 80% of everything there is to be owned like money and stuff.. while the remaining 20% is owned by 80% of the worlds population.. but anyways, yes i shall try to do all the 20% of the things needed.. and more.. haha in case i am doing things wrongly.. oh yes, while im at it, i shall pratise harder... alot. yes *nods* hmm. so i guess thats it.. i really have a lot of things to do.. remember that maths file that i vowed to hand in on friday? yeah. its still with me.. still incomplete, in spite of the better half of thursday night, not to mention today.. much to the dismay of yours truly.. haiz haiz.. *shakes head* not looking forward to tomorrow.. totally.. but no, in keeping with my new (and not very sure how lasting) resolution, i shall not pon school anymore.. try. okay, i will not pon school until the end of term no matter how horrid the circumstances.. which is, next week? okay doable.. *tries to convince self.. oh and others too* yes.
THOU SHALT NOT PON SCHOOL.
*sound echoes around mightily*
6:06 pm
Friday, March 02, 2007
*drumroll* and the best reason for not playing golf goes to.....
William Wornum, with, "I consider it unsportsmanlike to hit a sitting ball."
omg, that is like simply amazing lah.. i dont know how true this quote is, but i hope it is though.. its too funny not to be true..
3:46 pm
Thursday, March 01, 2007
you know whats.. i am so handing in my math file tmr lah.. im gonna prove to our dear math hod wrong okay, impossible as it may seem.. according to adidas impossible is nothing.. so yeah. and i am so gonna pass that stupid retest.. if they let me take it, that is.. and im gonna pass terms too.. yes i totally will man.. "if you continue like this, you are not gonna pass your terms." like, whatever? feel honoured okay.. im turning up in school tmr because of you.. you know sometimes its like.. what on earth more do you want from me.. i, am already in school.. i made the effort to drag myself out of bed this morning.. i made sure i ran so that i wasnt late.. okay, on the late days i didnt run fast enough.. and i am in school.. now isnt that an accomplishment? i guess maybe they dont realise the sheer effort it takes to just physically be in school.. i dunno, maybe theres some magical repulsive force embedded in it or something.. i think perhaps this is what teachers would call a shitty attitude.. oh yes, heres what she said.. "i think you have a very lousy attitude towards maths" or at least what i remember of it anyways.. surprise of the century.. madam. i didnt like it since primary school.. maths.. is like something abstract that you cant see.. its like all this numbers/figures/shapes that arent really real and you just learn how to manipulate them like how youve been told.. push them around, trim them down, mould them into a different form.. so i guess i dont really understand math in the most basic sense.. like what it all means? i just recognise the patterns put in front of me and do the same stuff to the same looking things.. the only math that really means something to me is like.. i wanna buy two apples. each apple costs fifty cents. i pay one dollar. yeah, something like that.. hmm i guess complex numbers shouldnt be very much different for me compared to other parts of math.. theyre all imaginary in my mind anyway.. okay now i shall stick my head back into the imaginary world of numbers, pointless it may seem.. i havent even finished one tutorial.. nevertheless, i shall face my foes with strength and with courage, with an unwavering belief that i will conquering the unconquerable.. ahahaha.
10:51 pm
this, is not turning out to be a good week.. at all.. i was on my happy way towards blissful apathy when half the world decides its time to WAKE GAIL UP. yes, i appreciate your concern, thank you.. i really do.. but you do realise that im probably gonna just disappoint you again.. ah, disappoint.. thats one of their favourite words.. so is responsible/responsibility.. and how could i forget.. their favourite word.. accountable/accountability.. yay, isnt this amazing, look how much my vocabulary has grown! *beams all around* hmm. looks like some survey i did way back was right after all.. it deemed me to be "slightly functional".. i guess that means when i grow up, i shall become a hermit and live on some deserted island.. then again, to be a little more realistic (another word, i think, that i probably need to come to appreciate the meaning of), maybe ill just hop over to pulau something-or-other.. the name has escaped me argh.. anyway. you know like how rapping and hiphop is a lifestyle.. youve got to live it, not just do it? i think being a loner is like a lifestyle too.. you cant just stop being all friendly and nice.. its just not you.. someday it will all get better.. i promise.. now then, what to do about todays mc.. im (severely) tempted to just not do anything about it though.. if it pleases you, send me for dc or something.. i dont really care any more.. oh no lemme qualify that statement.. i dont really care if i go to dc/have a really crap attendance.. but i kinda mind if im sent to talk to another person.. alot.
9:05 am
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.