Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
i feel lots like saying tgif, except that its not friday.. no, far from it.. man, i love times like this when the whole house is asleep and its just me and me and i dunno, the furniture, playing whatever random music that pops up.. yes, even some of my sisters pseudo-inspirational songs.. speaking of inspirational stuff, ive decided on the most inspirational piece of 2006.. yes, 2006, very very late i know.. anyways its the moldau from mein vaterland (spelling anyone?).. anyways, its inspiring cos it sounds alot like hey, heres my life so far, ive run/sailed (?) the good fight, and here i am.. ive arrived.. but its not done in a: okay you there, sit up, listen up, be inspired kinda way.. okay, put out in words it sounds so super lame lah, but so anyways, yeah..
i dunno, so much to say, yet nowhere to begin.. i guess im really grateful for the public holiday.. like really really.. first day of the week and im like oh my gosh.. if there wasnt a holiday tomorrow id be severely tempted to just pon lah.. okay, i shouldnt even be allowing myself the thought of that option.. i thought id start this week really well cos i went to sleep feeling rather nice and happy last night.. i realised that chamber music makes me happy heh.. all intimate and whatnot.. (yeah but not in the same way chinese music does.. one day in the mid-term future ill go and have a one year hiatus in china just to immerse myself in all that hahah.. so cheenapok, i cant believe myself.) anyways so ive realised that attempts to brainwash myself have failed thus far.. which is, bad i suppose.. yeah oh wells doublethink.. i need to go tear apart 1984 one of these days.. ho hum.. anyways, how do you give up on yourself when other people just wont give up on you.. i mean, which is really nice of them, and absolutely and fully appreciated.. but how can you when others well, i dunno, believe..
okay you know what, in an attempt to think coherently, and also so that my fingers will be all happy and not complain, im gonna make a list of things i learnt/realised/found out this past week.. here goes:
1) i realised how much i appreciate intelligence.. i mean like not good grades per se, but intelligence.. hmm yeah. like people who think.. not like i have to agree with them, or share their passion or anything..
2) which i guess brings me to this next thing.. i realised some things people do have started to grate on my nerves.. a little.. i dont know if they do it consciously or not though but anyways.. some of the things are really, to me at least, rather pointless.. why laugh when its not funny.. why talk when its meaningless.. why make a big fuss about a minute obscure thing.. why bother when it doesnt matter.. and especially the handholding, and the resting arms and chin on my shoulder like im some convenient arm rest, and the whining, and the i dunno, whatever it is that people do.. *tries to keep eyes from rolling right out of their sockets* and i thought they knew me well enough by now..
3) neopets changed its layout hahaha.. the basic stuffs pretty much the same, just the layout.. i dunno whether its a case of changing for the sake of changing :/ oh but now on the left now has this thing which says None of your Neofriends are currently online. You must be lonely. yes, im devastated.. really.
4) i really need to do something about the way my brain works.. and yes that means getting rid of that whole stupid passive aggressive thingamajig, and no that does not mean seeing somebody whose jobscope can be summed up in a 5-letter s-word.. i mean seriously, im having trouble staying sane as it is.. you know, usually i dont really like classifying/categorising myself into a certain group of human beings, but when i heard it i had no choice but to grudgingly agree.. oh darn it all.. (oh yes and thank goodness tmrs a holiday again..)
5) clouds are really nice to look at.. even nicer than stars i assure you.. at least they can be seen at any time.. only thing is, i dont really allow myself to look at them very much cos i think if i start, i probably wont start..
oh wells, brains currently complaining about the extra strain of the list-making heh.. yeah so goodnight..
12:33 am
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
