Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
yeah well, this is like how amazing lah.. school starts tomorrow and like prelims, theyre lets see.. 49 days away? and thats counting today which is almost done.. and here i am like the hols just started.. i guess its kinda freaky cos my parents, they kinda started hinting that they wouldnt mind sending me overseas to study, if only i could just prove myself a little.. and yeah and provided i dont do so bad until i really cant go anywhere.. this means the ultimate no-hopeness already cos they used to be like so super opposed to it cos i mean well look at me.. not exactly the most responsible person on the planet.. but now theres this about-turn whatwith the oh you know, if you at least do something now with the four months plus you have we can explore other options.. yeah so i figure that means kinda no longer expecting As and whatnot heh.. not sure if thats a good thing or not.. super cant find the drive to study lah..
Reasons not to slack and fail like nearly everything:
1) it kinds miffs me that if i dont like "achieve" like anything then you know, what has these two years been for.. well i mean yeah if i went back in time i wouldnt change anything, but then again i wouldnt change anything in my entire life if the possibility of time travel presented itself.. it would have been sorta unthinkable to go poly cos you know, somehow jc just was the place to aim for, i have like no idea why also.. and like i wouldnt have had been able to decide what course to take anyways so yeah..
2) and i guess it would kinda suck that you know, my friends, classmates, and all, would go on and i dunno, move on to "greater things" while ill be like omg, what on earth am i gonna do now.. but it wouldnt be so if i just stopped being such an ass and actually be present instead of just physically going through the motions with the rest of them..
3) and id hate to disappoint people like, again.. like omg, my whole life i have totally not lived up to anybodys expectations and its like what, i already know its gonna happen again..? youd have thought that with a well, lifetime experience of disappointing people one would grow immune to it all.. well i guess sort of.. but then again, no not at all.. i mean like when i was younger i used to think that well to a teacher what is one student in yet another batch and i used to get these report cards which said not living up to potential and stuff, or must work harder or something or other lah.. but now i figure its kinda dreary and mundane treating students like just another product down the long production line of churning out work-ready citizens all ready to contribute to the country.. and so i guess thats why i dont really like engaging in mutual understanding on a regular basis with teachers and authority figures.. okay fine i guess i meant instead of that long chunk was: being friends. id hate to be a parent, really.. i mean, how do you say: youre in the wrong. *keep stern face* to a friend? i figure thats why only the very best of friends are completely, perhaps to the point of brutality, honest about each others faults.. which i think its a thing i cant do heh.. :/
4) and itll be like: omg gail, why didnt you just try?! its not as if its an utterly impossible task or anything.. all the "tries" so far have been like so feeble they probably dont even count as a try on some other peoples scales.. yeah i guess it would suck somewhat knowing that i didnt put in my very best.. rather immune to this after a while too.. hmm i guess the alternative to immunity would be to like care.. but then, how would i be able to face myself every day?
Reasons to work my ass off and get those darn As once and for all:
1) umm because i can?
2) to prove that i can do it?
i dunno, not very convincing, is it.. yeah, didnt think so either.. and i didnt quite think that studying so that i can get somewhere, anywhere was a very good reason.. im not even sure where.. and studying so that next time i wont be like omg, what am i gonna do now seems so practical, but lame.. i mean i always thought learn cause you wanna, not cos some teacher/parents breathing down your neck or because of the consequences.. yeah so well pretty sure ill get this so called "breathed-down-uponness" tomorrow but i figure ill still put in my appearance tomorrow heh.. i mean hey first day of school leh.. if dont go, then when go?
anyways i guess while im on this, i think my poor attitude towards school and stuff has kinda rubbed my mum the wrong way.. i mean like duh right.. but anyways, shes making my sister read like the childrens version of encyclopaedias (see i dont even know how to spell that) and like do work every day and like check dictionary for all the words she doesnt know, and plus, write it in a book.. like, omg? what on earth? thats like forcing the stuff down your throat lah.. what happened to learning because you like learning.. i kinda doubt this dictionary thing will last more than a week lah.. oh wells..
well i guess so long for now.. being bugged off the com..
10:29 pm
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
