Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Monday, February 04, 2008
ho hum. 1+ days more and all be making my way to the friendly neighbours up north.. imagine all the wonderful faces ill be getting to see.. oh hurray. *grumbles half-heartedly* but still i go. haiyar. so nuah, can.. twice a year, this 3+h journey, seeing relatives i only see that often, half the time thinking "omgomg, what do i say to these people? omgomg, when on earth is this gonna end? omgomg, etc." but, somehow itll be gotten through, like it has been far the past dunno how many years.. all the err, hello happy new year, uhh, auntie, uhh sui sim or dua pek or whoever.. all the sitting round those dinner tables cos we're too big for one or even two tables, eating at a not very slow pace thinking "what did we talk about in those years gone by, really?" and feeling all the time that the dinners were really all in all a formality.. those same dishes every year, those familiar plates, and of course, the same people.. though are we the same, really? we see each other twice a year, we're too different now, really. or maybe its just me, hmm? i dont laugh at lame jokes and mild ribbing about newater and across-the-straits relations.. we have nothing in common.. i dont try half as hard as them, i am not half family-ish as any of them, i dont believe half as much as them, im not half as true as any of them.. im just, not. i wont laugh or be amused by the fact that nobody really comes to visit anymore on the first three days of the new year because there are simply too many grandchildren to hand out angpows to.. i wont pretend to be interested that so-and-so did how well in what-and-what exams.. and especially not if the reason for the wonderful grades was the so-and-so's mother praying during the hour of the exams and etc. and so, im looking for big fat books that i can lose myself in, or at least, pretend to lose myself in.. so that if any awkward silences kinda threaten, at least theres a reason for the silence. im reading. *gringrin* im too nuah now, too comfortable to risk a rift as big as that if i simply flat-out refuse to go.. i mean, wth, its just three days. i can handle three days.. besides, even if they do think me cold, or boring, or weird, then i guess thank goodness i only see them twice a year..
anyways. with this family thing. one of my students was telling me that family stands for father and mother i love you. ive never heard of any such thing and i super didnt know whether to laugh or to smile.. something in between i guess. anyways. the other day. my mother was making these almond cookie thingos, which the recipe said cream, not mash together, the butter and sugar but she didnt listen to me, but oh well.. and then i smartly went to help her a little and she started saying like how my cousin used to make cny cookies with her mother before she passed away, and i nearly died. like, wth? are you trying to start some tradition thingy with me? now? sigh, oh wells. but that being said.. the other other other day she started talking to me about me moving out and all even though id already decided to just stay put, although i didnt think she knew it then, but anyways. theyre like, i dunno, suddenly
lets talk this over, its not like we're dead..
but im like, uhh, what do i say to you now? light, we barely know each other.
oh wells, but the wheel weaves as the wheel wills, does it not?
10:58 pm
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
