Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
last moments of peace before, well, everything.. havent really packed.. well, kinda.. at the stage where you think you have stuff but actually not really cos you havent really thought properly.. but last minute is good.. oh wells. no assertions of authority from the parents, no words or actions from the little sis that scream out: do something, you lame excuse of a sister! here is a child clamouring for attention, only pride doesnt allow her to say it right out.. and we, we just sweep on by, full of our own busy lives.. my mother would think im rubbishing. but oh wells. i used to think that it would be pretty cool/interesting to do something psychology/counselling-ish. you get to learn how to pry apart and analyse the way people do things. and why. kinda look into their minds, so to speak. but i remember the way A. R. used to make me feel.. somewhat like a fly flying towards a fly-trap maybe? she, in all her matching colour-coded clothes (she always always wore matching stuff. shoes, earrings, whatever. yes, thats its things like that that distract you from the matter at hand and stops you from snivelling), makes you feel a morbid sense of fascination that slowly piece by piece unravelling who you are and judging you based on the pieces you let out. and she bases whatever opinion of you and your moral fibre on what you say.. or do not say. i always wondered.. why so much emphasis on the moral fibre part, though.. maybe if we had been in a different school? but anyways. you want to tell this woman things. you know she is forming (not-so-favourable) opinions about you, writing about you, confidential or not, putting you into this or that category of people.. and when you go do some reading up, you find that damn, she was right. again. and the scarey thing is, you look forward to seeing her each week. it was madness. hahaha. oh yes. i remember now. and she had this habit of offering you a hug at the end of each time you went to see her. as if that helped anything. hahahaha. and oh yes she used to do assembly once in a long while.. i used to roll my eyes and smirk somewhat.. if not because i didnt quite believe it could be the same person talking up there and doing all that assessing/evaluating when she thought i wasnt quite listening/talking/paying attention, then because i didnt want it to be known that, by golly! i was looking forward to these things.
anyways. why this. oh yeah anyways i did try this whole mumbojumbo thingo on one person.. after a while it gets a little habit-ish to do a little to everyone, but i really triedtried on one person? like i actually tried talking circles around that persons head.. and it wasnt really nice. you have to kinda like assume that your way of thinking is somewhat more sophisticated than the person youre trying to understand right, to make sense of why they do what they do? and that reeks of hauteur. i couldnt do that for a living, really. it may be interesting, but seriously? i dont know how shrinks manage to do it somehow.. they really must believe they are helping people. some of them at least. i guess in a way they are.. ho hum. we do what we can i guess..
anyways, so rather que sara sara-ish at the moment.. i think ive explored most if not all of the possible thingos and i figured that one way was pretty much the same as another. rumour has it that the results are out on the fifteenth. doesnt seem too far off. i think ill start really feeling scared on the 14th. although i have i feeling of roughly how id do but oh wells. as they say, the wheel weaves as the wheel wills. ho hum. i need nos 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 to complete my pathetic collection. not much of a collection, huh? robert jordan has such an awesome imagination that jk rowling simply pales in comparison.. so many people running off to the different ends of the world, doing different rather crucial-to-the-storyline-ish stuff, but somehow theyll all fall into place for better for worse, at tarmon gai' don in book 12. the only other person whom i can think of that can come close is tolkien and i havent read LOTR yet heh. only watched the movies.. they are so thick that i think id get bored or fall asleep halfway through the first book.
anyways. off to the packing. happy cny.
2:35 am
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
