Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
officially, i need a religion. yes, need. i need to believe in something, anything. and i need to feel something, anything. right now the only thing i feel is probably something like, omg i am so super shit scared because this week is judgement week. theyre all going off for their CA1s ggghhh *various nerve-induced activities ensue* somebody said today that her teacher said that only half the class passed english! :( :( :( and half the world found the vocabs and compre cloze hard. expected, but still :( urgghhh. *thinks of all the uncovered topics* i want you to go away feeling smart and thinking "omg, hey i can do this! hey i can do well! why did i ever not like studying?" maybe you dont dislike all this works stuffs all that much anymore, but still. we havent gone through enough questions, done enough papers, etc to even have a remotely certain chance of doing well okay :( and i want you to :( :(
see, i cant even write anything about anything. i need to stop being so bloody apathetic about everything. like, seriously. i cant muster anything more than a passing interest in anything. results, future, books, what goes on elsewhere, or what goes on anywhere, for that matter. that is so lame i dont even know what to say. like, hello? other than the aforementioned peeve, theres nothing much to feel, really.
there are two pieces of paper stuck to a shelf in my room. one goes "Build up, not Tear down" and the other goes "CREATE something" so far the effects of the two have been quitequite negligible. they mock me on my worse days, and yet they are such an insane source of inspiration on the better ones. the first gives you (or me, at least) a better mindset to look at the world with, and the other, all i can say is i havent created anything yet. or at least, havent created anything that has gotten itself penned down (which is to say, nothing) so much for being inspirational. thank goodness theyve only been up for about three days. any much longer and theyll soon be joining the heap of failed ventures. somebody once told me long ago that self-help books only work if you believe in them. shucks, i want to alright? i tried reading one of those mitch albom books and some other self-help thingo but, no. nothing. something? anything? id like to believe in/feel something again.. :/
12:02 am
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
