Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Monday, December 01, 2008
you know, im starting to feel scared. scared because im actually feeling guilty that im like pretending to actually believe what they say. and even scareder because i cant find things in my head to prove them wrong. ie. they are starting to sound more and more convincing. partially because i dont wanna think these people are highly delusional. i mean, i actually like them. this is badbadbad. i mean hell yeah i knew they were a cult when i decided to go back there. but damn, they sure are good at doing their thing.
i mean like. god, even if you do exist do you think id fall for "this is your home" and herd instinct and a tear-jerker movie of deep impact?
shucks. but if it didnt have any impact why am i writing this, why am i going back there three days in a row, and why do i suddenly find a need to find any/many different interpretations of the bible as possible.
its like, you know. reading the lexicon by the other author and the one by jk rowling. you really wanna believe its true, and on some level you believe its true, but you know that its not at the same time. one day im gonna have to reconcile the "you cant prove theres a god" and all this stuff. darn. doublethink is getting too effective.
"When you meet the friendliest people you have ever known, who introduce you to the most loving group of people you've ever encountered, and you find the leader to be the most inspired, caring, compassionate and understanding person you've ever met, and then you learn the cause of the group is something you never dared hope could be accomplished, and all of this sounds too good to be true-it probably is too good to be true! Don't give up your education, your hopes and ambitions to follow a rainbow." - Jeannie Mills, author of "Six years with God," and co-founder of the Concerned Relatives and the Human Freedom Centre.
3:15 pm
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
