Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
it suddenly dawned upon me why it seemed like such a farce going to school this week. sure, well, some of the things talked about were pretty cool. but it felt surreal, somehow. in the evenings i work alongside people who probably are the more.. "typical" singaporeans. people who live in hdb flats. a teen my age who gave birth some three months ago and moved out when she was what. fourteen? living my 'childhood' dream. the auntie who has to apply for court protection order from her husband, whos children are in some faraway home, who has to start working after years of being a homemaker. an ah ma who has been working in the same place for decades, and still has to, even though the wages have probably stagnated while everywhere around us inflation is taking its toll. the malaysian whos here because of the better pay. oh and of course. our supervisor person, cai xia, whom i dont really know anything about. except that when shes doing the closing shift, you can all expect to go home early. when she isnt there, we're all like, struggling to make 10.30. yup, dunno what she does, but shes that good.
twice a week i go teach this p6 student who has very obviously fallen through the cracks in our wonderful education system. when i got there for the first time, i thought that she was in primary four because of her standard of english. her teacher writes things like "do your work properly" on her homework because of the number of mistakes. but she does try what. for the grammar she checks the dictionary. oh man. checks the dictionary can. for grammar. thats more than i ever did for my pathetic chinese. anyways. cant really expect her to do the same for the other sections when even the grammar section is such a pain. and when reading the textbook workbook comprehension passage makes little sense. where will she be in five years time? ten? for the rest of her life?
NB. yes and im such a bitch for even charging to teach her right. especially when theirs is a single-income family whose breadwinner works at subway.
at night i sleep in a nice relatively-spacious-compared-to-new-condos condo. with security guards and a pool and a gym and where majority of the people here are car owners. and in the daytime i make my way to school, together with many others who have "made it" to the big u. oh yeah, the lectures are pretty cool sometimes, tutorials havent started yet. in my faculty, people here are more dressing conscious, some people say that we're the kind who know all the mambo moves and stuff. although i guess its just the more high profile of us. anyhow, its a rather sanitized environment i wake up to on weekdays. here, we might be resigned to the idea that hey, amongst uni grads in general, our prospects perhaps relatively duller. but hey. at least we wont be part of the working class. or will we? depends on definition? at the very least, we'll be earning the median income? pretty please?
my dad would say that well, you gotta help yourself before you can help others. thats always one of his so-called motivational idiom thingamagigs to make me work harder. which as you can probably tell, doesnt always work. the thing about helping yourself before you can help others is that when you "make it" out of school and eventually "make it" in the workplace, how do you know where that "make it" line is? wont we as human beings always want more? and anyways, when you have "made it" in the particular niche that you have carved out for yourself, chances are you'd already have lost touch with those you originally intended to help. maybe just like my dad. you know, being in the upper echelons of business management, is quite happy with some of the pro-business policies made by the government. but some of the issues that are unfavourable to the common man just dont figure on his plate. its not that he doesnt care, (at least i dont think so), the issues just dont register on the radar. just like our wonderful gahmen sometimes. although there are the exceptions, of course.
so by making my way to clementi every weekday, i work towards getting that enviable paper saying that i should be paid more money. i perpetuate the very system i profess to dislike. because i need to afford the lifestyle i am living, i make use of what i feel is an unfair privilege given to me. the privilege of being born to parents better off, the privilege of going to good schools, the privilege of not having to worry about finances, and so on.
but what's one to do? quit school and live la vie boheme?
12:53 pm
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
