Bonjour. Si vous voulons me chercher, vous êtes venu au faux endroit.
Friday, March 13, 2009
reading this, i had to take a couple of seconds to reflect uipon what exactly it is im looking for when i say/think things like god doesnt exist. i mean, what exactly is it that im wanting/expecting to hear when im so-called waiting for gods voice. something like i love you, child? its okay? i dunno. but i resent that. like wth? yeah life isnt what youd call a piece or cake sometimes. you might even say it sucks or whatever. but why do i frigging need a god to tell me that its alright. and who says i need saving by you anyways? okay lah, i admit that the above what mainly talking about the abrahamic god. hahaha. you know right they always seem to have some evangalical event going every now and then nus nus. like this is week is islamic awareness week or something? i picked up two books from the buddhist one. ive come to the conclusion thqt the buddhist philosophy is a noble one, but i just cant be bothered to follow it. ( i didnt actually finish them heh) its just too.. good. like wth? life would be boring? anyways. that day i stepped over this use ant trail, and i couldnt help but think. what if our god-man relationship were like that of ant to human? what then? does it scare you that you, pathetic man, aint the centre of the universe? that god has the ability to block out the sun, to feed you with ant poison, or to pour a bucket of water on top of your head if it strikes his fantasy? personally, id rather that theres no god to the uncaring god.
every week when i come back from my off-day, im just struck by the culture shock. the whole upper-middle classedness of life outside work is so happily revolving around itself. the halpeople so happily going about their fun-creating activities. the rest of school is a world away from work. my room itself is a room away from the world. then during the week things start to revolve around work, rather than school, especially when you take a look at my timetable and compare with my work schedule. qiyi, i totally get what you mean man.
the other day i had this really cool talk/debate with cla. i love how we have these once in a super long time. i came to see how the great thinkers have such differing views. im leaning more towards tylor while cla is more i dunno.. frazer? im not very sure. anyways. i didnt know i had such anthropological leanings. its like: yeah sure, based on theory and thought experiments its possible to come up with ways to help people and stuff. but it will never beat actually living the life in terms of allowing you to think of how to solve certain problems.
speaking of this, ive come to realise something very annoying about my own worldview. that im really actually quite ethnocentric. and im totally guilty of exoticizing different cultures. yeah. that especially. the reason why i want to travel and stuff is like: wooow. oh coool. look how different and how cool they are. i mean yeah, its awesome that it exites me. but eww. god. the whole exoticizing other cultures is so.. condescending. like the world missions society church of god "cult", the workplace, other countries that ive visited, people from other schools/upbringing/background, people in singapore from other countries. ya. you kinda get the idea. its horrible la can.
anyways. watched two harry potter movies in the past 48 hours. i completely forgot how i came to be in love with jk rowlings creations, and by extension all things fantastical. the whole magical escapism thingy. omg and a second hand book fair thingthing just arrived at bukit panjang plaza! oh no, the temptation. =( am attempting to spend an average of $2.50 a day leh. but its been so long since my eyes feasted on fiction. i tell you arh. its really been too long. yarh. like you know its reallyreally too long when your fingers no longer itch and ache to do something. sighs. oh wells. life is long. lets just see where everything goes huh. =(
ps. im finally learning teensy little bits of cantonese. something ji lei ma means i miss you. hahaha. omg OH YEAH. did you know that theres this baker who really likes to flirt? tsktsk.
1:27 am
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.
