two days ago i arrived at work and people were saying: xinyaaa. ni de ou xian si le. or ni de peng you si le! huhh? well yeah im sure everyone has heard by now, mj's dead. well i didnt grow up listening to his songs, but it sure is kinda sad. why? because i believe everyone deserves second chances. and thirds. and fourths. and however many they need doled out to them. although i havent quite figured out how and where all these chances are supposed to come from. although actually, thats not the only reason why its sad. it reminded me of the hot approaches to the study of religion lecturer who once mentioned mj although i cant remember for what reason. yup. hot in a older-guy kinda way. not to mention whose modules were more interesting than the usual. *gasp* i actually took two modules under the guy! eye candy twice a week! haha no, i assure you, it was not on purpose. but anyways. i screwed one of those two modules anyway, so yeah. thats whats supposed to be sad.
i also encountered the now-strange and unfamiliar concept of friends forever over the last couple of days. one of my colleagues asked me: xinyaa... do you think we can be friends forever? i dont think so lehh... or something to that effect. i havent entertained this thought seriously since.. what. secondary school i think? when we were all friends are friends forever, if the lords the lord of them and omg we're so gonna keep in touch. when the truth is we're all gonna be everywhere, trying to live the thing called life. when sometimes the efforts we made to keep in touch seemed in vain because.. i dunno. differences suddenly seem so big compared to the previous shared similarities? haha qi, do you know what im talking about? to all friends of mine out there, thanks for being there when you have been, thanks for the laughter and for the tears and other cliched words that come after that. but lets not talk about forever, or when we grow up alright? why plan for forever when we have now? why worry if we'll still be talking to each other when we "grow up" when we still can: bum around at each others places, exchange sarcarstic jokes at each others expense, forever remininsce over those studying days which im sure werent actually that study-filled afterall, go to all the trouble of getting into a club (well, not always) just to enjoy a few hours of oblivion, sit around some poolside drinking and talk rubbish until somebody starts falling asleep, kill zombies on wii in the wee hours of the night (and getting killed more often than not), make plans for making money which.. uhh. havent as yet come to fruition, asking "gail how come you never reply my msg!?", go for picnics in the botanic gardens, make lame jokes and fool around when the supervisor isnt around, make plans and dream about the future (ah well, it always comes back round to this sooner or later), make things other than plans, like music, and the rare cookie or muffin, whine and complain about this or that and so on.
although sometimes i do wonder. if i dont believe in lifelong friendship, am not sure about the existance of something greater than i am, dont believe in romanctic love other than as a series of chemical reactions, have no idea where in society im supposed to fit myself into, then what the hell do i believe in? i think therefore i am isnt enough. it isnt enough to simply exist, is it?
okay now time for me to lose myself in youtube.
12:48 am
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
OMG IS BRIAN VIGLIONE REALLY WITH WORLD INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY. oh my tian. my two favourite cabaret-influenced thingthings/people getting together?!?!? hahaha. i am so glad im back home and plugged into the internet. wifs and dresden dolls? ohhh my goooodddd. I WANT TO SEE THEM LIVE.
12:13 am
Monday, June 08, 2009
as some people might know, i got into a tiff with my landlord about a week ago. okay. tiff sounds too nice. i dont really know what to call it. the whole bringing-a-ba-zhang into a muslim house, i-dont-even-want-to-talk-to-you-lets-just-communicate-through-the-agent thing. okay. so never mind. we have our differences, ill be staying on for a little while, i try to stay out of your way, i try to be civil whenever i bump into anyone of the household. but today tops the cake. usually i stay in the room when theres somebody in the house. especially when shes in the house. but i had to go out what. anyways. i said hi. and i asked if shed prefer if i moved out asap or the end of the month. but her replies sounded as if she thought i wasnt fit to like, i dunno. talk to her or something. in other words, i was very offended. not by what she said but by her tone. ive never been offended by anyones tone before. at least not that i can remember. god, do you have to be such a bitch? so much for strict observance of prayer times and food restrictions and uber-long headscarfs. (i really hope im not crossing the line between ranting and being anti-religious here)
but seriously. would it hurt to be civil? by golly, thats what i tried to do when we were kinda talking before things went sour. she was talking about how islam allows polygamy (but only multiple wives, never multiple husbands) then i asked how about multiple husbands? she was like: of course not! which religion in the world allows you to have multiple husbands?! No 1, of course there are. except they are far and few the minority. (or, at least im sure there are..... paiseh.) No 2, why on earth would we need religion to give us the mandate on what to do? stop degrading yourself already! No 3, whattttt... you mean you dont have an inkling on feminist pride in you..? if i had been reading that online or in a book, i would have laughed out loud. like, LOL. but i was being nice and tolerant and respectful to the best of my abilities okay. i kept my mouth shut. im sorry okay. i brought the ba zhang into your house. I AM SORRY. but acting like a bloody bitch is insane. just like you dont expect yourself to take people who believe that you cant eat say, carrots, because the elf in their garden says so, and who take offence if people eat carrots in front of them, seriously, its a little trying when my landlord who was previously all smiles and i-am-such-a-nice-landlord becomes all oh-you-mortal-sinner-not-worth-being-civil-to-ish. i mean, i even read/heard somewhere that the pork thing is in the quran because of some pig disease in that time or something? =/
anyways. i read i quote somewhere recently that said something like: atheists are always talking about religion. yeah i know. it sometimes feels like that too. i dont wanna be a single issue person either. but you cant help but feel the need for some consciousness-raising on the part of the rest of the world. i mean, how can all the other religious people go about their stuff with such an air of legitimacy while we have to say quietly oh, you know, actually... i dont believe in any god.... *shrugshrug* and im not even an atheist. more like a... how do you put it. agnostic. maybe even a theistic agnostic. or a.. humanist?
1:54 pm
gail.
loves anything new
gets caught up in causes, events, loves
but doesn't do anything about them.
professes to be a supporter of the green movement
but leaves the lights on
disapproves of mcdonalds
but eats there anyways.
godwise, the jury's still out.
schoolwise, fass rocks my socks
but why do i have like a ton of work to do?
familywise, i guess theyre/its great
we just need to figure out what to do around each other?
freindswise, hey you guys are awesome.
blogwise, realises that the profile section is crappy
but doesn't know how else to fill up the space.